Not Beyond Repair

To the Brothers who feel broken…

Research suggests that approximately 1 in 6 males experience some form of sexual abuse before the age of 18. However, comprehensive statistics specifically focusing on Black male survivors of sexual abuse are limited. Being Black and being male creates barriers to being seen as a victim especially of sexual violence, and the proliferation of feminist movements that focuses on women as victims further widens the gap of research and resources that highlights the experiences of male victims, especially Black males.

Feminist studies, sexual assault awareness movements, violence against women movements, and other feminist social movements are increasingly diverging attention from male sexual assault victims.

Davies, 2002

The expectations of masculinity directly opposes the reality of being victimized and significantly inhibits a mans willingness to report their experience. In addition, the narrative surrounding sexual trauma is that men are the VITIMIZERS and are often denied the reality of victimhood as sexual crimes are typically defined as crimes against women, erasing the fact that men can also be victims. What exacerbates this is the myth that men can’t be raped which many men have internalized, specifically Black men. Because when your daddy is getting your dick sucked by a stripper at the tender age of 12 to help usher you into manhood it becomes glaringly obvious that we have a problem and there is a severe disconnect. What that is, is sanctioned abuse. This ritual of turning a boy into a man by having him sexually abused by an older female, often an adult, is seen across cultures. In the Black community we rap about it, glamorize it, and brag about it on social media.

Rapper Boosie Badazz shared on social media back in 2020 for the world to see that he hired grown female strippers to perform oral sex on his son and nephews. He was “getting them prepared” and “training them up.” Being a minor and having sex with an older female or adult, was (and still is) seen as a badge of honor. The repercussions that Black men experience in adulthood because of these actions (devaluing women, hyper-sexuality, aggression, discontent, intimacy issues, depression, disconnection, and more) are often dismissed and rarely connected to the childhood abuse. The symptoms of abuse become the “norm.” When we couple this with the perception that Black men are “depraved sexual beast”, a perception cultivated and propagated during slavery, the journey to healing becomes even more complicated.

Understanding the Unique Journey

To comprehend the journey of Black male survivors of sexual abuse, we must acknowledge the intersectionality of their identities and the historical and present day impact of slavery. The conditions that Black men face, much like Black women, cannot be accurately represented or discussed without acknowledging the unique position they hold in society when it comes to race AND gender, especially as it relates to trauma. The trauma inflicted upon black male slaves during slavery went far beyond the physical and often included sexual abuse and exploitation. This deeply entrenched historical trauma continues to affect how black male sexual abuse victims are treated today. Centuries of systemic oppression have left a mark on collective memory, impacting societal attitudes and responses towards black men who are survivors of sexual assault. Being Black and a man is a duality that does not lend to victimhood or support.

The underrepresentation of black male sexual abuse survivors in mainstream media and public discourse contributes to the marginalization of their experiences. Limited visibility leads to reduced empathy and understanding, perpetuating the cycle of silence and neglect.

To create a more equitable and compassionate society, it is essential to address the systemic issues that perpetuate the disparities faced by black male sexual abuse survivors. Here are some steps that can be taken:

Breaking the Silence: Encouraging Disclosures

1. Providing Safe Spaces: Creating inclusive and non-judgmental environments where Black male survivors can feel heard, validated, and understood is essential. Support groups, online forums, or therapy sessions can offer a safe space for survivors to share their experiences without fear of stigma.
2. Fostering Empathy: Empathy plays a crucial role in encouraging survivors to come forward. By promoting empathy and understanding, we can help dismantle the barriers that prevent them from disclosing their trauma.

Resources and Support for Healing:

1. Professional Therapy: Seeking help from a trauma-informed therapist can be instrumental in the healing process. Therapists trained in trauma care can provide specialized support and guidance to address the emotional and psychological impacts of sexual abuse.
2. Support Networks: Encouraging Black male survivors to connect with others who share similar experiences can provide validation and comfort. Online communities, survivor-led organizations, and local support groups offer invaluable connections.
3. Education and Advocacy: Raising awareness about the prevalence and effects of sexual abuse among Black male survivors is essential. Educating the public and challenging harmful narratives can help destigmatize the topic and promote understanding.
4. Culturally Sensitive Approaches: Acknowledging the unique challenges faced by Black male survivors and implementing culturally sensitive approaches can empower them in their healing journey.

Healing through Empowerment:

1. Reclaiming Masculinity: Shattering stereotypes and redefining masculinity in ways that embrace vulnerability and emotional expression can empower Black male survivors to embrace their healing journey without judgment.
2. Mind-Body Connection: Practices like mindfulness, meditation, and yoga can foster a connection between the mind and body, helping survivors regain a sense of control and self-awareness.

1. Education and Awareness: Promote education and awareness about the historical impact of slavery on black male survivors, challenging stereotypes and misconceptions that hinder support and empathy.
2. Culturally Competent Services: Improve access to culturally competent and trauma-informed services that address the unique needs of black male survivors, recognizing the intersectionality of their identities.
3. Amplify Voices: Encourage media representation and platforms for survivors to share their stories, fostering empathy and understanding within society.
4. Advocacy and Policy Reform: Advocate for policies that address racial disparities and discrimination within support systems, ensuring equal access to justice and care for all survivors.
5. Community Support: Foster community support networks that empower survivors to seek help, healing, and solidarity

Healing from sexual abuse is a journey that requires courage, resilience, and support. As a black male survivor, you may face unique challenges, but remember that you are not alone. By breaking the silence, accessing resources, and engaging in healing practices, you can reclaim your power and begin the path to recovery. Your voice matters, and you have the strength to heal and thrive. Remember, healing is possible, and you deserve to be heard, believed, and supported.

Resources:

1. RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE
2. 1in6: https://1in6.org/
3. MaleSurvivor: https://malesurvivor.org/
4. Darkness to Light: https://www.d2l.org/
5. NSVRC (National Sexual Violence Resource Center): https://www.nsvrc.org/